Need a helping hand? You have a friend in WAVE
Trouble
I am seeing four women and I love them all. They all want to marry me. It's confusing as I want to marry all of them. What do you think? If they come to know about the other then I will be left alone. I don't want to be left by any of them.
—Madan Rai
How does anyone manage to 'see' four women all at once? It's quite mind boggling and if you don't stop it right away you're going to be in big trouble. They all want to marry you because they don't know of the other three who want the same thing too. I think it's high time you took a decision, find out who you would like to spend the rest of your life with and then honestly take it upon yourself to clear things up with the rest. They may not take it well, but I can't see you living life the way you are right now.
The Power Of love
I have just completed my SLC. I love a girl very much, more than she loves herself, but how can I express my feelings to her? My heart just doesn't dare take that step. I am in a critical situation because I keep thinking about it. What should I do?
—Lagan Gurung
If you love her like the way you profess then you should have the confidence to express yourself. I'm saying confidence because it's important for the girl to realize how much you feel for her. That might just help her come to a decision as well. But it has to be genuine, from the heart and honest, which I think I can see in your words. Just go ahead and let her know.
Friend not a lover
We met online and became friends before he came back to Nepal. We talk on the phone daily and met a few times. He's a very nice guy and I love him as a friend. I think he feels the same way. I fear falling for him or vice versa. We are both single. I don't want our relationship to be more than friends but I feel this may happen. Should I stop talking to him on the phone for so long? He'd feel ignored. Should I discuss this with him? How do I go about doing that so he doesn't take it negatively, leaving us nowhere? What if he loves me as a lover?
—Anisha (confused)
What you are asking can be difficult to obtain. Moreover it could be interpreted as a selfish act by the other person. Relationships usually begin as friendships before graduating to something more. That situation is a possiblity because of the way your relationship has progressed. Perhaps it's wrong for you to think you want your relationship to go in a particular way when what will happen in the future cannot really be determined. If you avoided him it would be escapist and you may lose a true friend for some situation that may not arise in the future. Just go with the flow. If things take that turn, the two of you will know each other well enough to reach a mutually acceptable decision.
So Far Away
There's this guy who loves me very much. It feels great and unbelievable that anyone can love me so much. The problem is he tends to call me up frequently. I wouldn't mind if he would do it during the day, but he calls late night (around 11:00 p.m.). Due to this I always get into trouble with my parents. They don't approve of him calling me up at odd hours, as it is they are strict when it comes to boys. He lives far away [abroad] and so mails, chats and phonecalls are the only means of communication between us. My elder brother says that I ought to give him up before my parents find out the truth. But I don't want do this, living a life without his presence seems impossible. What do I do? I have made several requests to him not to ring me up. He promises and then again after a day or two he repeats his actions. He says that he cannot control himself. How do I explain to him what I am going through?
—Desperado (17)
It's quite selfish of him to continue calling you at odd hours even though you told him not to. Maybe you are not being assertive enough or not explaining your situation clearly. You have to tell him that you don't have any hang ups about him calling during the day but his calls at night a problem because you have to face your parents wrath due to that. I think in a relationship it's important that there are no barriers, as far as communication is concerned. There's something wrong if you can't. You can make it work if you try.
Back and Bitten
I am a 25 year old who just returned from an Arab country a few months ago. I had proposed to a girl whom I love very much. At that time she accepted and we kept in touch through letters. The first two months she treated me very well and visited me several times. But nowadays she has started ignoring me. I requested her to meet me but the answer is always no. She makes promises but never really comes through. I have asked whether she has another guy, but she said that her family is against it and doesn't want to continue. Because of that I am depressed and I cannot concentrate on work. I love her very much and I am sure I will be not able to live without her. What should I do?
—Ravi
I'm sorry to say there definitely is a problem. Reading your problem it does feel like she has begun to lose interest, for whatever reasons. Instead of wondering why her behaviour has changed, you could start by asking her. Tell her to be honest, tell her you will understand and that you want to clear up all doubts. And then you should be ready to hear anything she shares with you. Talk about it. It's going to help both of you.
