The death of innocence

by SWEXYA PANTA

FROM ISSUE # 200 (August 2012) | IN THIS ISSUE
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Anyone desperate enough to commit suicide, should be desperate enough to go to creative extremes to solve problems: elope at midnight, stow away on the boat to a new country and start over, do what they always wanted to do but were afraid to try."

On 16 June, six girls from around the country committed suicide following the announcement of the SLC results. This incident has forced people to talk about a topic that we usually ignore: teenage suicide. Studies show that suicide is the second most common reason of death (after accidents) among children between 13 and 20 years. This year alone, the cases of attempted suicides in Nepal rounded up to a staggering 50,000, and many cases are not even reported in the first place.

So what makes so many teenagers take their own lives despite having their entire lifetimes ahead of them? Neuro-psychiatrist at Bharatpur Hospital, Dr Mahendra Raj Neupane, says that suicide rates differ between the sexes. While girls are more suicidal vocally, more boys actually end up taking their lives, and while girls prefer subtle ways like taking pills or slitting their wrists, boys opt for more lethal methods like jumping off a cliff or using weapons. When asked what could be the cause behind such shocking numbers, Neupane says the reasons vary from bullying to sexual harassment to growing family pressure and even love, all of which are made worse by raging hormones.

Being a teenager myself, it amazes me how even I get suicidal sometimes, for instance during those moments when I see no purpose in life or during days when things don't go my way. The pressure of performing well at school, scoring high grades, listening to our parents give us hour- long lectures, following social expectations about 'proper behaviour' or the latest 'trends' just to feel accepted can all take a huge toll on our already confused minds. Most times, we fight our way out of these tough times. But some of us succumb to these pressures and fail to find a way out. Also lack of family support and family problems add to the misery. In Nepal, three-fifths of suicides are caused by broken families.

It's sometimes difficult to pick up on signs that a child might be deliberating suicide. But a few hints may be the key to identifying potential suicide cases. Neupane mentions that children contemplating suicide often talk about leaving the world and are abnormally silent and keep to themselves. If you see your loved ones displaying such behaviours (see more below) you need to reach out to them. Services like Help! Nepal and other psychiatric institutions help to a great extent. Since visiting a psychiatrist is still considered a taboo in Nepal, a lot of people avoid this route, but the few patients who undergo regular therapy improve significantly.

Neupane says parents need to be more careful in handling such cases as teenagers can be very vulnerable. Locking them up in their rooms won't work. Parents need to be supportive of their children irrespective of their levels of achievement.

Also, for all of the teenagers out there, bullying is not fun; it can destroy someone's life. So the next time you choose to pass mean comments or be nasty to a friend or classmate, know that you might be contributing to someone's death. And for the loners who are reading this, there is nothing wrong with being who you are. Just because we don't highlight our hair blonde, are not size zero, and wear glasses, doesn't make us any less cooler. We have to bring the ninja within us out and fight- fight for the right to be who we are.

Signs that your child or friend might be thinking about attempting suicide:

change in eating and sleeping habits
withdrawal from friends, family, and regular activities
violent actions, rebellious behaviour, or running away
drug and alcohol abuse
unusual neglect of personal appearance and hygiene
marked personality change
loss of interest in pleasurable activities
not tolerating praise or rewards
complaining of being a bad person or feeling rotten inside
giving verbal hints with statements such as, "I won't be a problem for you much longer," "Nothing matters," "It's no use," and "I won't see you again"
putting their affairs in order, for example, giving away favourite possessions, cleaning out their rooms, throwing away important belongings, etc.
 becoming suddenly cheerful after a period of depression