Across the seas | Feature | wavemag.com.np

Born to Nepali parents and raised primarily in the US, I used to take biennial trips to Nepal to visit my grandmothers and occasionally I would go trekking.Two years ago while on such a trip, I met a guy who happened to be my grandma's neighbour. Ohhhh man, it was love at first sight. Unfortunately, with proper adulthood and commitments waiting for me back home in Michigan, I had to leave Kathmandu even though my mind and heart remained in Naya Baneshwor with Sandeep, the boy next door.

Upon returning to Michigan, things didn't feel the same. I celebrated Dasain with all my loved ones in Nepal and Christmas, my favourite holiday season, was fast approaching. Ever since I was a little girl, my parents, sister, and I would always decorate the house, sit by the fireplace and listen to Christmas carols on the radio. So why was I feeling so blue during my most anticipated time of the year?

I felt foolish for not having pursued my granny's neighbour. We were always surrounded by too many people for me to make a move so I kept my crush a secret. He was best friends with my cousin and it felt too close for comfort to reveal my fondness. Now, here I was one afternoon lounging around lost in thoughts of Sandeep, flipping channels on TV. VH1 came and I was surprised to see an actual music video—something that rarely happens anymore— Van Halen's modern classic Right Now was just starting. I never even watch TV. "Don't wanna wait till tomorrow, why put it off one more day?" I felt it had to be a sign, the lyrics spoke to me immediately. What the hell have I got to lose?

Hey Sandeep, I'm back in America and I miss Nepal tremendously. I'm planning on coming back in the summer, what do you say: shall we have a Monsoon Wedding?

You wanna get married? I don't know anything about you, what if you have a black belt in karate and you kick my ass every day?

We wrote back and forth a few times the next few weeks and then a lull hit during New Year's. Maybe he realised I was crazy and didn't want to continue our correspondence anymore. After nearly nine days of silence on his part, he wrote me a lengthy e-mail explaining he spent his New Year's week, spent away in Khulekhani with his favourite homeboys. They drank way too much beer, played loads of cards, road their Enfields and enjoyed the greenery outside of Kathmandu. The e-mail shared detailed descriptions of his main friends: Mona, Utsav, Gaurav (my cousin) and Subesh.

Apparently they all stayed at Mona's place and had a grand time. Immediately, I assumed Mona, whose real name is Arpan, was a woman and felt a twinge of jealousy. I thought of Erykah Badu's, My Eyes Are Green and chuckled to myself. I thought of starting a conversation about music. Music has always been a huge part of me and I was curious to know if it mattered to Sandeep as well.

In the next e-mail, he sent me a playlist of several songs which blew me away. The very first one was Fagat Ek Nazarmaa, which I'd never heard. Frankly I didn't even understand the words so I turned to my dad for translations. A fellow hopeless romantic at heart, my dad was immediately intrigued by Sandeep. It was the first time I liked a guy who seemed to meet my dad's standards. Needless to say, I had a hunch this dream Monsoon Wedding may actually come true.

Before long, it was trekking season in Nepal again. Sandeep and his friends made plans to go to Dolpa for a ten day trek. I was devastated. I would have no interaction with him for nearly two weeks! I wore my heart on my sleeve and sent him a short video of me dancing and lip-syncing to Najau Na Malai Chodi. Thankfully, he responded favourably.

After returning from his journey, our e-mails got longer and more intimate until we finally decided to chat via Skype, webcams and all. I was so nervous! I spent hours chatting with my sister, Pooja, consulting her about what to wear, how to do my make-up, listening to Chaka Khan's I'm Every Woman to motivate me for our first "date." After months of exchanging e-mails I felt I really knew what Sandeep was about, but then I started dreading the face-to-face conversation. What if his voice sounded like a mouse?

Ultimately, there was no turning back and I was shocked to find he sounded better than anything I even dreamed of. His spoken voice was raspy like Bryan Adams and when he sang, he seemed to channel the hotness of Eddie Vedder. Holy smoke, I hit the jackpot! I felt compelled to make a huge move to Nepal as soon as possible.
Enter Monsoon Season. Travelling to Nepal, Sandeep sent me Northern Wind's City and Colour. Waiting during my 13 hour lay-over, hearing the words, "You're the lullaby, that's singing me to sleep; you are the other half, you're like a missing piece," I choked up at the mere thought of having my puzzle of love complete.

Looking through the glass pane at Tribhuwan International Airport, I wondered how our first encounter would be. Pooja imagined what it would be like, "He will bring flowers and give you a hug, but be too much of a gentleman to plant a kiss," she said. I was never much of a 'flower-type' and felt a bit discouraged by the trite prediction. Much to my surprise, Sandeep proved to be a true original: he pointed his index, thumb and middle finger out, curling his pinky and ring finger inward, in the shape of a gun, "Dee-shyuu, dee-shyuu," he mouthed as he shot straight to my heart.

The logistics of a traditional Nepali wedding were too complicated to get married right away. Instead of Monsoon, we got married during the winter in Mangshir and the months in between seemed to pass at a glacial pace. Throughout it all, he continued sharing extensive playlists. Introducing me to Ray LaMontagne, The Tallest Man on Earth, Diwas Gurung and Peter Tosh, every e-mail contained a mini-soundtrack to our personal movie.

On the days of our wedding, we danced till our feet hurt. The songs were completely reflective of our romance— totally unique to us, We played everything from Nepathye's Lampati Surate to Aretha Franklin's Baby, I love you. The days after our wedding, I started my life as a buhari (daughter-in-law) in a traditional Brahmin household. Waking up at 6:30 am to bow down to my new parents—as wonderful as they are— there were definitely moments during Christmas season when I had flashbacks of my life in the States.

Dreaming of a white Christmas, I felt a knot in my neck. Sandeep has never celebrated Christmas and doesn't understand how a Hindu family can immerse themselves so fully in a Christian tradition. How could I explain to him how deeply it mattered to me? I kept unusually silent and for the first time, I turned my back against him as I went to sleep in a fetal position.

The next morning I was amazed to find that Sandeep created a brand new playlist for me; Frank Sinatra's Christmas album. It was just a bunch of free Mp3s he downloaded during his lunch break for himself, but for me it meant the world. Since Mariah Carey came out with her 1994 album Merry Christmas. I can remember singing All I Want For Christmas Is You at the top of my lungs every year, longing for my true love to reveal himself. With the Sinatra collection, Sandeep gave me that Christmas, He also made me realise how much I value music and of course how nice it is to have finally met my match.

After decades of military dictatorship, the Burmese girl band Me N Ma Girls is taking full advantage of saying and singing what they think. The five young and talented women have broken new ground not only in Burma but have also hit the international music scene.

"Earlier, we could only write love songs and sad songs," says band member Hitke Hitke, "now the laws have changed and we can write songs about politics. We can write and we say everything we like."

The band came together in 2010, when Australian dancer Nikki May decided to help form a Burmese version of the British pop group Spice Girls, and organised auditions. At the time they were known as The Tiger Girls, and only performed cover songs.

Wanting to produce their own material, they split with their producer last year and started up Me N Ma Girls with Nikki May as manager. The group's name is a play on words. In English, it means 'me and my girls' which also sounds like the other name for Burma, Myanmar.

Last December, they released their first album titled 'Minga Lar Par' (Welcome) and instantly captured international media attention with their performances. The band is more popular internationally than in Burma.
"In our country, people like white skin and people like beautiful girls, we are dark-skinned and not beautiful enough," says Hitke, laughing, "but we can sing beautifully."

There's obviously more to these girls than singing and dancing. Hitke Hitke studied computer science while Cha Cha holds a bachelor's degree in zoology. Ah Moon studied Russian, Wai Hnin Khaing is a chemistry graduate and Kimmy moved from Burma's poorest Chin state to Rangoon to study mathematics.

All five band members are from different parts of the country and follow different religions. Ah Moon comes from Kachin state, but she says she wants to appeal to a broader audience.

"When I write, I feel like all the other girls in the world. When I write a political song, I feel like the rest of people in Burma, not like a Kachin girl," she says.

Their new song is called 'Come Back Home', a call to millions of Burmese who fled to escape military repression and poverty. Ah Moon who co-wrote that song, already has another song for their next album called 'War', which is about the violent conflict that flared up again in her home state of Kachin.

At the forefront of controversial political issues, it hasn't been easy for the band members, all in their early twenties, to convince their families they can survive just by performing music.

"At first my parents did not allow me to have this artist life. My father wants me to become a business woman, but I'm not interested. I love singing and dancing, so that's why I choose my way. My dream comes true…nearly," she says, adding her dream of going to Hollywood.

And it might no longer be just a dream. The band has been offered the chance to record its next album in Los Angeles.

Me N Ma might be making it big, but off stage they're just the girls next door. Cha Cha still has a curfew from her parents to be home before 7 p.m at night, while Ah Moon's father is a Christian priest and her mother, Lu Nan, a housewife.

This article was first broadcast on Asia Calling, a regional current affairs radio program produced by Indonesia's independent radio news agency KBR68H.