God Damn my metabolism! God Damn my appetite!!

FROM ISSUE # 193 (January 2012) | IN THIS ISSUE
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Sometimes, I wonder how much easier life would have been if I had a super metabolism rate. I wouldn't have to curse myself for falling to temptations oh-so easily, for eating that last piece of deep-fried momo, when my stomach is already bursting to the seam. Neither would I have to climb my stairs up and down painstakingly right after, in a desperate attempt to burn off the extra-calories. I feel like I wouldn't have to worry much.

If only, I had a super metabolism rate.  I would not have to do calorie counts in my head every time I decide to pop something relatively unhealthy to satisfy my humongous appetite and mostly my appetite for all things greasy. How joyous it would be to eat everything I want and still fit into clothes beautifully. How wonderful would that be? I wouldn't have to practice mirror poses in every angle possible to learn the art of hiding my double chin while taking a picture. Dinner invitations would be welcome for I would be more open to the thought of dining after 8.

Life would be great in many ways. Shopping is now basically a nightmarish experience. Finding dresses my size wouldn't be a struggle and I wouldn't have to bear the brunt of seeing the sales person look at me with pitiful eyes. For once in my life, I wouldn't have to worry about the bulge in my stomach showing while trying on the 'tight' dresses. I would be able to wear any shape and not be restricted to the 'A-Line' dresses of which I am not a big fan but experts say works best for my shape.

But, that's not the case. No matter how much I walk, run or jump, I will not be able to develop that amazing metabolism rate which few of my friends are blessed with. While they eat every bit as much as I do, they are still able to strut around in sky-high heels, their bodies perfectly displayed in body-hugging bandage dresses while I sit there in my over-sized coat, and a pair of VANS looking more like a dude than a dignified lady.

This is what my teenager self would have probably written, wishing for something that is unachievable, always finding the other side of the pasture greener. As the year is drawing to a close and with the New Year beginning, I am happy to finally be comfortable in my own skin. Although, there are moments of dissatisfaction, but never have I felt more proud about my curves as I do now. Maybe it's due to the wisdom that comes with age or simply seeing Vidya Balan display her curves so boldly in 'The Dirty Picture', I am glad to say I feel SEXY today.

I now truly believe in owning a dress with my attitude and confidence and not with my size. I would like to believe this attitude will stay with me no matter how much my shape may change. But that said, my New Year resolution is to not go crazy binging on oily stuff. I will treat myself only after I have worked out…hard. Happy New Year!