The male pursuit of sex | Feature

Men think about it every seven seconds. This is a fact. We know it's not nice. We know it is shocking for women to hear this, which is why many men will deny this but I repeat: this is a fact. We just do. How else would the population of the world have reached 7 billion if we didn't? The male fascination with and relentless pursuit of sex is never-ending as is apparent when you consider that prostitution is the oldest profession in the history of mankind. The Trojan War between Greece and Troy was for a woman—Helen of Troy (considered the most beautiful woman in the world at that time). Whether we realize it or not, consciously or unconsciously, almost all of our modern day rituals revolve around sex or the process of "getting some" –from grooming to taking a shower to sweating it out in the gym to buying fashionable clothes to wear to spraying deodorants to visiting bars and social events to visiting a salon… at the fundamental core of it all is the inept quest for a mate, for sex.

Historically, it used to be that the fittest man with good genes and a good physique used to get the woman. Men have been building and flexing their muscles, trying to be the alpha male in order to attract the most attractive of mates. And what lengths have men not gone to impress the opposite sex? Men engaged in bizarre and idiotic tests of superiority and strength like arm wrestling, beer drinking competitions, body building contests, bull riding contests, bull fighting, snake-handling, wildlife hunting, drag racing and more. We've ridden motorbikes over a stack of trucks even when common sense tells us that such a feat would more likely end up in a broken rib cage than glory. I call this the "peacock syndrome" aka the "check me out" move.

And that was how it used to be but in the recent past, wealth became the more important variable. So now in addition to having toned bodies, men had to be rich to attract a mate. (To the ladies who do not agree with this: you may not care about wealth but your daddy is not going to let you marry that broke ass lover of yours). And how did men respond to this new paradigm shift? They tried as best they could to paint a picture of success. First off, they 'fancified' the name of their position in every profession. If a man owned a small business, he became not the owner but the "Company Director". If a man was a computer techie at tech support (the geek you go to when your computer does not respond to the several smacks and kicks to the CPU), he became the "IT & Database Technical Officer". The Sales Department became the "Business Development & Sales Executive Unit". The stock-keeper became the "Logistics & Procurement Executive". The restaurant manager became the "Maître de". And anyone and everyone in the medical field managed to get the coveted "Dr." prefix in front of their name—from dentists to physiotherapists to the guys who work the X-ray and MRI machines. The bartender became a "mixologist". The accountant became…. well, they realized that accounting was one profession that wouldn't sound fancy no matter what so they stuck to the same old name.

Right, so with that taken care of, man had to flaunt his wealth to show that he really was wealthy. The ones who did this most conspicuously were the rappers and the hip-hop artists who draped themselves with diamonds and bling blings—a commodity that was previously marketed solely to the female population. They flaunted diamonds on their ears, around their neck and in their fingers. They even had "grills" on their teeth. They drove Bentleys, Rolls Royces and Lamborghinis. Snoop Dogg even carries around a gold goblet studded with assorted gems and rubies because a regular glass just won't do!

This century has seen a quantum leap in the number of billionaires and sales of luxury products are booming—yachts, sports cars, private jets, designer suits and million dollar mansions. Obviously, to amass such wealth will take a considerable amount of years. Except for a few rare young ones, billionaires are usually, well, old. But perhaps the greatest joy for this rich old man is to be able to buy the love (mostly the kind that is for his money) of a beautiful trophy wife who would easily pass for his granddaughter.

I guess the point that I am making is that men are inherently lazy and not inclined to do much at all. In our heart of hearts, we are all like Homer Simpson—lazy, love beer and TV. But with sex as our motivation, and because of the competition (there are a lot of other men around), we try to excel in various ways. Some methods work and some don't but we still don't know which is which. To our female readers, the next time a guy comes up to you with a tired pick up line or offers to buy you a drink, have a heart and humor the poor guy. After all, he is only trying…