Sexual conundrums

Davin Shakya’s eternal stream of consciousness -his thoughts, rants and ravings, impressions and perceptions about how lust and sex are viewed by many of us even today

by DAVIN SHAKYA

FROM ISSUE # 186 (June 2011) | IN THIS ISSUE
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A few of my lady friends were in a local micro and there was an old bearded man, following the van on his scooter and that dude was JERKIN OFF. While riding the scooter. On the streets. Of Kathmandu. Openly. 

Pause and ask yourself. What is your verdict on this dude? Are already judging and arriving at the inevitable assumption? 

'He's a weird, shameless and a depraved pervert'. But that is the conclusion of just one of many angles or directions of one's perception. For all we know, he probably presumes that he's living in the ancient era of cavemen with no social norms to adhere to, brandishing his weapon as an allegory of his tremendously aggressive mind. Maybe his need to masturbate in public is a serious medical condition? Who knows? Maybe a swinger's party or some crazy SM scenario is playing on in his head at this very moment! Who are we to judge?

There are always people who resort to almost anything just to get into someone's pants. There are those who are more sophisticated in their ways and there are those who deceive their ways to attain the unattainable while many other pay for what they want.  There are also, of course, those who vow celibacy due to traditional dictates.

Lust for Sex- we all have it. Some are discreet, some are open and others are oblivious to the art of sex. It's natural. Each is subjected to ones' own belief. Give yourself a chance to know a random person who may or may not be sexually attracted to you, it doesn't matter, because at least you are trying. You have the "remote control" to extend or shrink that barrier. We can't assume that everyone who opens up or comes on to someone is a pervert and an asshole coming to ruin your precious time. The flaw of this system is that one person comes into the picture and f**ks it all up for the rest of the sexes.

Rape, sexual abuse, fetishes and incest- all felonies attributed to an uncontrollable lustfulness- power and control too, but mostly lasciviousness. Lust for sex is an intriguing emotion that might lead to more bad than good.

This brings me to the projection and determination of various sexual signals. There are many ways to determine sexual signals- be calm while gauging the person, body language, tone of the voice, dilated pupils, your gut instinct. It could be misleading at times so it is always better to save your trump card for the end. And as for projecting, credit yourself for the effort!

Everyone reaches a vulnerable point occasionally. It's a weak moment that leads to hasty decisions, confusing infatuation with 'love' and one-way relationships, also known as obsessive stalking. 

Our culture seems to certainly have evolved significantly, although Nepal, being the conservative nation that she is, is definitely struggling to open up to the new and improved perspectives of sex and its sub-cultures. The truth is that the freedom to embrace the idea of our natural instincts is important and needed.

 Freedom of speech, freedom to do whatever the f**k we want to do (avoiding any disruption of peace obviously), having every right to dress up however we like to without becoming a victim to the government's occasional moral policing scourges.  Beaten, humiliated and often carted off for a night in the slammer just because of the length of a guy's hair or because a lady is inked and has a metal pierced through her eyebrows. But that's just how it is. Life's a bitch and it's our job to adapt, learn as much as we can from the surroundings and agree to accept and belong or choose to amend it for the better good. It's your call.

No where is this disconnect more evident than in the views concerning sex.

To live in this society, there are two factors that have to be looked upon.  Conformity or flouting societal dictates- whatever it is, use a rubber, will ya! I'm glad most of the younger generations live their lives following the latter!