I feel that I always make an effort to make great friends by starting conversations, listening to what the other has to say and showing interest. Yet, I don't have any such friends and feel people are always distant from me. I wonder if it's me or them. Please help. – Avantika
Avantika, you are already on your way to great friendships in that you are making the effort to connect with people. Sometimes, a 'hello' can open up to great many conversations from where you can build relationships. So don't stop reaching out to people just because some seem "distant". Remember that people always react the way they do depending on their situation, and what kind of situation they are in might be impossible for us to tell! Therefore, we tend to take the easy route and think that the problem lies with us, which is often not the case at all. Instead of making a huge deal out of a few, "unfruitful" encounters, next time, try to be aware of the other person's situation. Does he/she seem cheerful or upset? Does he/she look approachable or might rather choose to stay alone? Ask yourself, "If I were him/her, would I make friends with myself?" Play on your positive sides and don't be picky about who you talk to. You could find friends in the form of the least expected person!
It is great that you take a genuine interest in other people because one can usually tell a fake. However, it is best not to try too hard just like in any other case. Sometimes, it is just a matter of "clicking", finding common grounds between each other and good timing. It is never too late to make friends so be yourself, keep an open mind and have fun on the way!
Q. I recently finished high school and am now considering moving out of my parent's house and living on my own. Although we will all be in Kathmandu, I just want to experience independence and live a little. Is that advisable?
Freefalling teen
Independence does not only mean living away from your parents but being able to depend on yourself to survive. Moving out and doing things on your own will teach you life lessons for sure. Cooking simple dishes and paying rent on time will teach you things you might not learn in school and you will get an overall idea of what it takes to run a house. But you also need to think through the details – money, security, times of emergency and health. A good idea could be to take smaller steps to getting there. Why not rent a place for a month and see how it feels? Then you can decide on your own if you want to continue experiencing the independence and the responsibilities that come with it or you want to wait a little longer. The key thing here is that you want to move out for the right reasons. If you are considering moving out just because you have a 9pm curfew at home, you might want to try talking about it with your parents. After all, they only want what is best for you. But if you feel ready to take charge of your life completely and you know you can rely on yourself, there is definitely not a defined age in a book somewhere that says "Move out". Lastly, remember it is a jungle out there, so be safe!
