My friends have stopped calling me because I spend a lot of time with my girlfriend. They think I am ignoring them, which is not the case. What do I do?
- Aakash, Biratnagar
Keeping outside relationships and interests alive is essential in maintaining a healthy relationship. No one person can meet all of our needs, and expecting too much from someone can put a lot of unhealthy pressure on a relationship. Having friends and outside interests not only strengthens your social network, but also brings new insights and stimulation to the relationship. Honest, direct communication is a key part of any relationship. When both people feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears and desires, trust and bonds are strengthened. Talk to your friends and girlfriend about this.
I am a recent college graduate struggling to find a decent job. Though it hasn't been too long since I graduated, I feel very unproductive and wasteful. What is the remedy to this?
- Shivani, Kathmandu
It can be very frustrating when one can't find work that suits their taste. There's nothing wrong in being unemployed for a while. Rather than doing nothing and feeling unproductive, volunteering might be a great start. The benefits of volunteering are enormous, to you, your family and the community. The right match can help you find friends, reach out to the community, learn new skills and even advance your career. Volunteering can even help protect your mental and physical health.
Though I am not a virgin, I am not ready to become sexually active with my current boyfriend, but he keeps pressuring me. I don't want to say no, but I don't want to take our relationship to that level either. I don't know what to do. Please help me.
- Anonymous
If you don't want to have sex you don't have to. You are in total control of your body and are completely within your rights to say no to sex – never forget this. The decision to have sex or not to have sex is a very personal one and nobody should ever try to make you feel like you are doing something wrong by wanting to abstain. When you make the decision to give your virginity to somebody you do not also consent to give yourself to every guy who wants you, remember that. The very reason that you just don't want to have sex is the best reason and needs no further explanation. Your willingness to have sex with him right now has nothing to do with how much you care for him.
