I am a 19-year-old girl taking a break after my +2. The problem is I'm too relaxed. I have to be enrolled in a college by next year but I haven't done much about it. I have this tendency to be passionate about the wrong things at the wrong time. It does worry me, but it's all in the head. I want to straighten out before it's too late. Help me get a grip over myself.
Chilled
Dear Chilled,
You seem to be aware of what is going on with you. At the same time, just being aware is not enough. We have to get up and do something about our awareness. What we do is often influenced by what we want. What you need to do is to set your priorities, then decide what you will do. Then do it! There is a bit of denial here, so be aware of that, too. Worrying about it will not change things much; you need to make concrete decisions about what you really intend to do—then just do it!
I am a 19-year-old boy who was in a relationship with a girl who used to be my schoolmate and my neighbour. But I broke up with her because we were from different ethnic groups. It's been a year since then and she seems to have moved on, but I simply cannot get over her. I regret breaking up and have also apologised time and again. I can no longer face her and cannot concentrate on anything. Please help.
Melancholic
Dear Melancholic
Judging a person simply by one's race or ancestry is not always a good idea, though our society often does this. It is time for you either to make up for what you have done or to move on. Are you going to use race or ethnicity to determine your choice of friends/partner in the future or not? You have to decide this now. Running away from this type of thinking won't help much. It is time to make a stand now about what you expect both of others and for yourself.
I was studying in Class nine when I noticed this girl. She used to wave at me for no reason every time we passed each other. Over the days, I tried to approach her to talk to her about it; but she shied away. Then I sent her a letter expressing my feelings but she told me that she threw it away. It's been five years already but I still want her. What do I do?
Bewildered
Dear Bewildered,
It is natural for boys and girls to flirt in order to gain attention, but that is not the same as love. We do not know what or how you expressed your feelings to her, causing her to throw your letter away. You may still want her, but does she want the same? If you are still in contact, you need to settle this for yourself, without any pressure or force. The response will be up to her.
