Life’s Little Learnings

FROM ISSUE # 161 (May 2009) | IN THIS ISSUE
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I recently caught my 14-year old brother watching a MMS with sexual content on his cell phone. I was shocked by the content on the little that I saw. I am 19 and understand that inquisitiveness about sex is natural at his age but I can't get myself to put the incident behind us. I want to be able to guide him so that he doesn't put himself at risk but I don't know how. Can you help me?
Suniti Sapkota

Dear Suniti
You are right; young boys are inquisitive about anything new or strange.  As long as there is no question of compulsion or addiction, you are okay.  It would be good to let him know that you are aware that he is looking at such materials. You should also ask him what he has learned from it all and if he has any questions.  Once he knows you are interested in his life, then you can both talk about it.  The main thing is to put the whole thing in context for him.  You are in a good place.

It's been three years since I started working in an organisation. I love my job as it is interesting and fun and it has also helped me put myself through college. But now I find myself slacking very often and have to force myself to work. I can't meet deadlines and even if I do, I end up putting in only half of my focus. The lack of motivation is making it difficult for me to be at work or at home. What can I do to get myself to roll up my sleeves and give my full attention to work?
Demotivated

Dear Demotivated,
It may be that this job or career is not for you.  We can't say.  But if you do not find the motivation to do a decent job, naturally poor results follow.  Try to find out what moves you, what appeals to you and what grabs your attention. Only then will you find motivation. However, if you work mainly just for money, motivation may be hard to find. So take your time to find some inspiration.

I love to shop therefore I find it hard to save money. In one of my trips to a shopping mall, my desire to purchase a deodorant overpowered me so much that I gave in to shoplifting because I had no money. Despite knowing that most of the shopping malls these days have surveillance cameras and alarm system, I put the deodorant in my bag and tried to walk out but I was caught. The security guard and the mall officials insulted me and insisted I pay for it even when I told them I had no money. I was finally let go after 45 minutes with a warning. That was the first time I shoplifted but I am still confused by my illogical and stupid behaviour and haven't been able to deal with myself. Am I a kleptomaniac?
Shoplifter

Dear Shoplifter,
We hate to call you this because you did something spontaneous, got caught and learnt something about yourself.  In one sense, we are glad you got caught because then you had a learning experience.  No, you are not a kleptomaniac; only if your behaviour becomes compulsive or obsessive, can you be called that.

Send your problems to wave@himalmedia.com. Your problems will be answered by LV Brooks ans Srijana Singh. Brooks has had decades of experience in counselling and has worked as a guidance counsellor at St Xaviers. Srijana Singh has worked as a professional counsellor for over
seven years.