 PRAVAT J GURUNG |
I am a 22-year-old guy and I am very depressed about how things are going. I don't feel like doing anything but I know if I want to, I can achieve things. Nothing is going my way and it's embarrassing to face people now no matter how close they are to me. I left work last month too because I don't even feel like working anymore. My study is haywire too. I don't know what to do and on what to concentrate. I tried going abroad to study too but my visa application was rejected. Please suggest what I should do and how I can bring up my morale.
Mr. Lost
Dear Mr lost,
It is obvious that things are not going the way you would like it to. So the thing to do is to begin to plan where you want to go and how you intend to get there. Just feeling depressed about how bad things are only makes them worse. On top of that, feeling bad about feeling bad only makes things worse. You need to begin with yourself first, find out what really grabs you, go for it, and celebrate your successes. Every one of the things you mention are occasions for you to get up, take care of yourself first, then do something to change the situation. Don't despair; hope in yourself and your future. The only way up is UP!
I don't know what's happening. I am 24-year-old and I am in love with a boy who loves me equally back. I think we can spend our lives together and want to get married but he says we should wait. He has his family business to handle so it's definitely not finance that's holding us back from getting married. I don't know why, but he says we are young to get married right away. It's confusing me a lot and he also says that we shouldn't tell everyone that we're in a relationship. I haven't even told my best friend about me being in a relationship with him. What should I do? Advise me.
Bride to be
Dear Bride to BE,
You sound really anxious to get married, while the boy is thinking of your future together, it seems. It's natural, at your age, to want to find stability and security, however, the boy is perhaps thinking of your future together, for which he will be very much responsible. I don't know why he wants to keep your relationship hidden; perhaps because he wants to make sure conditions are right. You both need to dialogue about this. Are you too anxious or is he too cautious. Good to talk about this so that you can set a definite agenda and move ahead together. Just hanging like this is not that helpful.
I am a college going student but the problem is that I hate going to college and attending classes nowadays. I get frustrated and restless when I sit in a class and to get away from it, I bunk college very regularly. I usually bunk with my friends but they say that they've bunked enough and that we should attend college. Even though they're back to college, I am usually out with my other friends. My family found out that I have been bunking and I have been grounded. I am also not a smoker but have started smoking. How can I concentrate more on my studies? My grades are going down too and my attendance is bad.
College Boy
Dear College Boy,
Like you, we did not always like or appreciate college studies, yet we both have degrees and are fully engaged in our career as counsellors. The problem is usually not college but lack of a reason for studying. Why study if there is no reason or purpose to do it? So you need to discover that purpose for your studies, then go for it. Studies are not for the sake of study but for self-fulfillment, job orientation, interest, etc. Study by itself is not a cure for all our troubles but can be a mean of getting to where we want to go.
Send your problems to wave[at]himalmedia.com. Your problems will be answered by LV Brooks. SJ who has decades of experience in counselling and has worked as a guidance counsellor at St Xavier's. Along with Srijana Singh who has been working as a professional counsellor for over seven years.
