Grass is always greener on the other side

by ABHA ELI PHOBOO

FROM ISSUE # 151 (July 2008) | IN THIS ISSUE
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I was asked to write this article as a young Nepali studying in the United States to hopefully be of some help to those looking to further their education abroad. I am not sure if I will be able to answer questions, quell doubts or ease anxieties, but despite what you are told, the one advice I can give is to follow your gut instinct, guided by reasonably calculated decisions. Each person's circumstances are unique and decisions must be made accordingly. This column does not seek to promote any business, institution or affiliation. Now, having made the above disclaimers, I will proceed to business as usual or not so usual.

Most young Nepalis arrive here with a fair idea of what to do, what is expected of them and formal institutional procedures. Still, there is the idea of America that they carry over and are often surprised or shocked by the difference they see between the idea and reality. And there are those nonchalantly soaking it all in, often forgetting that they're in a foreign country. You could fall in either category but after a while, it all gets comfy and easy to get used to.

There is also the sense of being uprooted and starting over again, sans family, friends and a familiar environment. Many revel in this brand newness and start to create new identities: some for the better, some for the worse. Others are gnawed by a sense of insecurity. All of these groups often wallow in homesickness, which is a great hobby if indulged in the right quantity, keeping you grounded and on your toes. This hobby makes for excellent conversation at every Nepali gathering where the constant drawing of comparisons between Nepal and the place you've landed in is inevitable.

But I've deviated from the topic that I meant to address, which is: when you decide to go abroad, you must make the decision for the right reasons and not simply because all of your friends are going. Choose the subject you want to study because you want to study it and will enjoy your classes, not because everybody else is studying it. Choose the college you want to attend and the region you want to live in wisely, and not because everybody else there too. All this calls for much homework: surf the sites, visit libraries and other resource centers, contact friends and counselors, and read every bit of literature that might help. Check your options and then decide. Weigh the advantages and disadvantages of your circumstances. Start filling out the applications early. The grass isn't always greener on the other side but if you look carefully, it could be.

Abha Eli Phoboo was the editor of WAVE from 2005 to 2006 . She is currently studying at the University of Central Oklahoma in the United States.