Last year a good friend failed class nine and now has to repeat the class. A junior now she is without any of her old friend in the grade. We try to include her in our activities, but because of our schedules and classes it's difficult for her to be there all the time. She is now feeling that we are abandoning her, and sometimes it is awkward being together. How can our group be reunited?
-Nandita
I can well understand your situation, Nandita, as I used to be principal of St. Xavier's! I have seen this sort of scenario played out many times in the past. You are doing what you can to include her in your activities, but there will be differences, as you said. She has to come to the realisation that things cannot be as they were before, but it is not because you want it so. Best to stay with the truth: she has to repeat, cannot be with her old friends as before, and it would be good to begin to make new friends in her present class. Those students of mine who did this were happy at the end of the year; those who didn't, were miserable all year.
I always wanted to be a doctor, but all my applications to medical schools were rejected because I didn't do well in my final exams. I know that I should forget it and do something else, but I feel like I have a calling for it. It's been my dream ever since I was little, but now I have to change everything. What is the best path for my future?
-No MBBS
No MBBS, that's a good name for you now. If you want to try later on, you can always do so; but you will have to prepare well for it. You may also want to find out whether your desire to be a doctor is from you or from your family. In the meantime, if you are really serious about continuing on in this field, you obviously need to prepare yourself for the next effort. If not, there are plenty of other fields to explore, even in the same area.
I recently lost control of my life completely. Somehow all my work piled up, and my friends drifted away. My parents keep telling me I'm not focused enough, and everyone seems to be angry with me all the time. I want to make everything better, but I don't know where to start. What is the best way to try to restart your life?
-Lost in Lagankhel
Sounds like you are lost in more than Lagankhel! Yes, things do tend to pile up, don't they? Then the thing to do is to let go of all the "failures" and strike out on a different path. You are not getting anywhere staying where you are. Life has two decisions we need to make: let go and get going! Once you do the first, you can more easily do the second. The only way to begin is to start!
Send your questions to oasis@wavemag.com.np. LV Brooks, SJ has decades of experience in counselling and is the guidance counsellor at St Xavier's College.
