Love Conections

by SANIAA SHAH

FROM ISSUE # 134 (February 2007) | IN THIS ISSUE
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The clicking of the keyboard and the faint glow of a computer screen may not seem like the makings of a wildly romantic atmosphere, but increasingly, Nepalis are looking in cyberspace to find—and keep—love.

"My friends were shocked when I married the guy I was online with all the time," says Liva, who met now-husband Ashesh five years ago through nepalsearch.com. Even though they had an "awful first date" (Ashesh arrived two hours late and stuck Liva with the bill) they managed to progress from chat friends to a full-scale relationship. But the internet continued to play an integral role when Liva left for the US and Ashesh moved to Mumbai. The pair managed a long-distance relationship for two years before returning to Nepal to get engaged.

Chandan and Anjana started chatting on MSN in 2001. Soon, they exchanged photos and met casually. They got married in 2005 after four years of steady dating. "We happened to meet online, and it worked out for us. It's not how you meet—what matters is what you put into your relationship," says Chandan encouragingly.

For other couples, the internet is a way to continue a relationship rather than begin one. Rahul (20) and Sugandha (17) dated for over a year before he left for college in New York last August, and they decided to give their relationship a chance. It's been difficult, but Sugandha is confident it's worth it. "If you really want something, you can make it happen, and I wanted our relationship to work out," she explains. Like many other long-distance couples, Rahul and Sugandha email each other and chat online daily. They also use webcams, and try to call as often as they can afford it.

Some people even find communicating over the net easier than doing it face-to-face, which is why they choose to have meaningful conversations online rather than on a real date, particularly if they are shy or have problems expressing themselves. Of course, long-distance relationships are never the same as actually dating 'in person', and if you can't trust your partner, communicating across the world can be very difficult and dissatisfying. Ayesha (18) broke up with her boyfriend after keeping up a long-distance relationship for six months when she found out he was cheating on her. "You need to be practical. Managing a relationship over the phone and internet isn't easy," she says.

Still, like in real-time face-to-face relationships, there are ones that survive and ones that don't. While relationships like Liva and Ashesh's and Chandan and Anjana's are far outnumbered by the not-so-happy endings, they prove that if there's a genuine connection between a couple, it can transcend distance. And with the internet, international SMS, Skypeing, and cheap phone cards, it's almost always worth a shot.