Silence of the lambs | Cover Story

Sailesh, 15, was going to a nearby stationery shop when a bomb exploded leaving him semi-paralysed, and his left eye and hearing abilities severely damaged. His family sold their land to save his life but numerous treatments later, Sailesh became mentally unstable and the family's economic situation worsened. They brought him to Child Workers In Nepal (CWIN), where he continues to recieve help but no justice.

Another 15-year-old boy studying in a private school in Kaski was sexually abused when he was 14 by his brother's friend whom he called Dai. Dai would stay at their house frequently and when alone, show him pornographic material. One day when everyone was asleep, Dai insisted on having sex with him and when refused, threatened the boy into submission.

Child abuse in Nepal is rampant, be it due to conflict, discrimination, socio-economic problems or sexual motivation. It can be broadly categorised into three headings:
1. Bullying/discrimination/corporal punishment/physical abuse
2. Sexual abuse /verbal abuse/showing of pornographic material/child marriage
3. Child trafficking and economic abuse.

Child abuse can exist in various forms that encompass two or more of the above categories simultaneously. As Bhanu Pathak, assistant project officer of Child Protection at the UNICEF (United Nations International Children's Emergency Fund), says, "We consider violence, exploitation, abuse and neglect, discrimination in all forms, socio-cultural exploitation, domestic abuse, and even seducing children or tempting them into abuse as child abuse"

The CWIN Helpline receives an average of 35-40 calls a day from children or concerned individuals asking for help. In 2005, the CWIN helpline responded to 389 cases of child rights violations; the number was 749 in 2004. The annual status report on children in domestic services published by CWISH (Children-Women In Social Service and Human Rights) reported that the number of girls workers has increased to 66 percent in 2005 from 61 percent in 2004 while the number of boys has decreased from 39 to 31 percent. These reports and statistics show that the situation needs immediate action. Madhab Pradhan, programme coordinator of child protection at CWIN says, "We have laws to protect these children but the priority given to them is not enough. The implementation process of these laws is weak and there is no immediate justice." But what does child abuse mean? What constitutes the various categories of child abuse and how can a child be protected?

Corporal punishment, bullying and discrimination
A case study from UNICEF reports of how a principal in a school in the western region of Nepal, hit a 10-year-old student and hung her from the ceiling fan which he then turned on. As a result she is suffering from problems of hallucinations, depression and nightmares for the past three years ad has had to discontinue her studies.

Corporal punishment in schools is taken for granted as an excuse to enforce discipline. This practice has evolved to such an extent that parents who are unable to handle their children give schools permission to carry out such 'disciplining' tactics. Common punishments in schools, as observed by UNICEF, are making students walk or run around the premises 10-20 times, stand in the sun or rain for 45 minutes, slapping, twisting their ears, pinching, pressing a pencil between two fingers, pulling hair, severe beatings with a thin stick, belt, duster, or fists. In an extreme case, a maths teacher in Pokhara took 18 students of grade one to the school toilet and made them touch human excreta with the tip of their tongues for not memorising their tables.

Students often have to deal with verbal abuses along the lines of "you are a lazy, stupid duffer" or other more extreme forms which include the use of obscene words that can be equally damaging to a child's self esteem and mental state. Bullying and discrimination are major forms of child abuse in private boarding schools. As Pradhan says, "Though corporal punishment and bullying has decreased in public schools, it is still unchecked in private schools." Discrimination may be social, due to caste, religion, region or gender. Bullying is even seen as a social inclusion method through which the student, after being bullied, is then accepted as a part of the institution. It is essential to make teachers, parents and children aware that bullying, discrimination and corporal punishment is not the answer.

Sexual, verbal abuse, showing of pornographic material and child marriage
Menaka comes from a poor family. Of 10 children born to her mother only she and her brother survived. She remembers her parents quarrelling when she was a child about Menaka not being her father's offspring — a claim her mother denies. When Menaka was 11, her father raped her. A cousin found out and confronted him. At 13, Menaka married but left her husband due to his excessive sexual demands and remarried at age 15. The second marriage didn't last either. She returned to her parents' house where her father, in a drunken state, raped her again. Her mother was hurt when she came to Menaka's defence. Menaka went to the police, who didn't believe her at first, but with the help of neighbours, her father was finally charged and kept in prison for three months. He is free now but Menaka lives with a distant sister-in-law, sand mining from a nearby river to support herself. She feels that the guilty was punished but is unsure of her future.

Talking about child sexual abuse in our society is taboo. People would rather pretend that it does not happen to them or people they know. Truth is: every child is a probable victim and most perpetrators are people around them. Sexual abuse exists in two forms– contact and non-contact. The non-contact forms include use of obscene language and showing of pornographic material. In a research done by CWIN and UNICEF, use of obscene language was found to be the most prevalent form of sexual abuse with 33.5 percent of 3,960 of the children surveyed being exposed to it, 22 percent had been exposed to exhibitionism and nearly 18 percent had experienced contact forms of sexual abuse such as fondling over or under clothes or kissing. Nearly eight percent of girls and six percent of boys named family members as abusers.

Victims of child abuse end up blaming themselves for what happened. The problem lies in lack of awareness, education and the fear of reporting due to social stigma. In the course of seeking justice, the child could be re-victimised or made to relive the incident, which could be more damaging.

The notion that only girls are vulnerable is wrong as increasing cases of male sexual abuses are being reported. As Purna Kala Sharma, pyscho-social counsellor at CWISH says, "Though the societal stigma may not exist for boys who have been sexually abused, the personal trauma and pain remains much the same and can manifest later in life." Though sexually it is seen that girls are more at risk, Sita Ghimire of Save the Children Norway says, "We live in a patriarchal society and the problem is the lack of male involvement in such issues. This is looked upon as a female problem and something that should be solved by the female part of society. Truth is that the majority of the abusers are male and they have never been sensitised to the subject."

The need today is to spread awareness regarding the subject to protect our siblings and ourselves. As Kriti Thapa of Save the Children Norway says, "We must create an environment that is child friendly. Societal norms must change. We also need to teach children how to 'Protest and Protect', which could make them less vulnerable."

In a bid to 'Protest and Protect', Save the Children Norway has been working with other organisations to create child clubs across Nepal to empower children. As Milan Dharel of CWISH says, "There are no specific steps to follow in the abuse cases. Many do not even know what they are supposed to do. This results in most incidents going unreported due to the lack of child-friendly services." Organisations such as UNICEF, CWISH, and CWIN have been helping children by making laws more accessible and developing a code of conduct for public services related to abuse.

Child trafficking and economic abuse
Samjhana, 10, studies in grade three. For two years, she worked as domestic help in her father's childhood friend's house. The man started to rape her within three or four days of her arrival. He warned her not to tell anyone as it would bring shame to her family, and said he would give her money. One day, he returned from singing religious bhajans in the community and raped her. Samjhana fell ill with fever the next day and his wife beat her. He raped her daily except when they had guests. Finally, Samjhana told her mother who asked her to stay quiet but informed a social worker who reported it to the police. The case is now in the district court.

"People believe that domestic help shouldn't be treated well. Many aren't even aware that they are violating child rights," says Pathak. Domestic abuse has always been high in Nepal with many reported cases of physical and mental abuse. According to the CWISH report, out of 415 child domestic labourers, 66.27 percent girls and 33.73 percent boys. "Mostly, parents send their children to work. Often, the poverty at home is so severe that parents might not be aware of what their children are going through," says Pradhan.

Many families think that if they send the child to school, what they are doing is right. The family fails to consider that the child is then burdened with school and house work. The CWISH report states that among the children involved in domestic services, 42.65 percent are literate but their school dropout rate was 85.88 percent; 36.14 percent of the children worked more than eight hours a day and 50.6 percent worked up to eight hours.

So please, if you have children working as domestic help in your house, take the time to understand what s/he is going through. Do not abuse them. As Dharel says, "We talk about development processes but unless we can guarantee our children a safe environment to grow up in, there will be none." Nepal's future lies in her children and her children need to be protected.

Protest and Protect
• In crowded places try to create your own space. Use bags, umbrellas or other materials to maintain distance from others.
• If you are not comfortable with a person then tell them so in confident and firm tones. Do not scold immediately or be aggressive.
• Scream as loud as you can and try and to attract attention to yourself should you find yourself in an awkward position
• If a person attempts sexual abuse, fight back by trying to hurt him/her in sensitive areas such as the private parts, eyes, stomach etc. Also try and use materials that you might find like sand, pencils, etc to defend yourself.
• In all cases, talk to someone more knowledgeable or report the incident. If you don't feel comfortable going directly to the police, tell an older person or friend about the incident. Avoid people you are uncomfortable with.

Crafting opportunities
Pramod KC, 20, from Udaypur, Katari works at CWIN. His mother died when he was young and his father was an alcoholic who beat him up until Pramod ran away at age eight. He started working at a local hotel but didn't like it so he ran away again. He found employment at a meat store. Soon, Pramod got into drugs and even tried brown sugar until he realised that he could not support the habit and lost interest. Pramod's inherent love for art surfaced and during his free time, he would carve or create models with available materials. During his stint at the meat shop, Pramod began to think that this was all there was to life until he met his brother who had got into CWIN. He joined too and in the past four years, they have trained him in arts and crafts. Today Pramod sells his works to various arts and crafts outlets such as Sano Hastakala. He also runs a drama school and has produced and performed social-commentary plays in 13 districts.

City of Dreams
Kiran Rai, 25, from Sunsari has been with CWIN for 15 years. His father, an alcoholic, remarried. Kiran and his mother became victim to his father's drunken rages and stepmother's lies. At age seven, they left home. Kiran's mother left him to work as domestic help while she worked elsewhere. "The employers pretended to love me when my mother was around but made me work even when I fell ill at other times," says Kiran. He met another boy and the two left to live on the streets as rag-pickers. Older boys bullied and beat them up, often stealing their money. One day, Kiran met Dhane who convinced him to go to Kathmandu, referring to the city as 'Sapana ko Sahar' (City of Dreams). With Rs 70 in his pocket, Kiran arrived in the capital and was soon bitten by a dog and fell ill. "My friends helped but they abandoned me as my wound swelled and I couldn't walk," he says. His friends brought him to CWIN where they treated his infected leg. "It felt weird being here; it's hard to adjust when you are used to living on your own terms. I tried to escape many times," says Kiran. He's enrolled in literary classes and even went through first-aid training. Today, he's studying BBS second year and says, "I want to help other kids like me have their chance at a better life."