Driving with my brakes on | Feature

We're all driving with our brakes on and swimming with our boots on and it's so true that we, as people, take precautions in case things go wrong and this need to feel safe has affected us so much that we've let it enter our hearts as well. We just cannot love without precautions anymore…

Recently I have begun to see things from a different perspective and I don't mean to pour it on you but I don't mind sharing my new 'window view'. It's funny because I never actually gave it any serious thought. It was like one of those clouds that passed my by, until a couple of months ago when the cloud decided to rain on me…

'Love is an equal reaction,' that was what I used to believe before. Now, I have questions in my head that has no answers. Questions like...what does it take to love someone? To love one's family, friends, all who are dear? Are we really capable of loving? Real loving? Unconditional loving? See, I love my family because they are family. Same goes for friends, I love them because they are my friends… Then we have instances like parents refusing to let their children step out of their shadows, it's called culture or identity (how ironic). A person chaining another person to themselves and that's called marriage. An individual buying another is a relationship. I have this funny feeling by the time you get to this sentence you'll be saying, "jeez, she makes mountains out of molehills!' Maybe I am doing that because I know that's how life, society functions. That's what you call the norms of life and what I'm running into seems like illogical talk or even unnecessary. But the bug's bitten me already and I can't help but think about it.

How can we say we love someone and yet expect that person to belong to us, like a piece of lifeless property? Can we stay happy just knowing someone loves us, like we do them and not be in some sort of an association, a bond? Looking at most of us the answer is a big NO. Sounds selfish, doesn't it? Our insecurities, our insufficient faith in ourselves and in the people we love will surely start to eat us up. Before that happens, we must somehow belong to them or they to us. It's strange how just one word makes all the difference, a word like 'relationship', 'family' and 'best friends'. It's again the need to belong and own. Friendship may allow us to give without expecting something in return but you never know…it's a give and take world.

I have tried to love without wanting to be possessive or wanting to be a possession and unfortunately (or fortunately) I admit I have failed. I marvel and admire those people who can love without any expectations and cannot understand what magic spell they use to feel so confident about the one they love. They are like those clouds that float in the sky, they rain love on you and then they pass you.